Naughty Mum!!!

Dyl - I heard her. She said a very naughty word. Apparently it was in disbelief about the results of my latest running and jumping exploits. We went to one of those showey things again this weekend. It was a VERY long way and we had to get up really early. When we eventually arrived Mum let us have a run around the field and Taz went for a poo! (why doesn't he do it at home in the proper manner, we have a lovely toileting facility that I always use) Some horrible little Sheltie came up and was growling at poor Maggot, Mum had to step in quick before Maggot told it to %%%% off! Mum threw Tazzie's poo at it - that'll teach it hehehehe. My Mum always looks after us and will jump in quick to protect us so we don't get ourselves in trouble. Perhaps I should poo when we go out so she has something to throw at another dog if it starts picking on me.

Tazzie went to go running and jumping first and when he came back he said it had all gone ok but that Mum had smelt funny. He thought that perhaps she was a bit more nervous than usual. I asked him why but he didn't know - stupid dog he should pay attention, I expect she was looking out for that Sheltie and was worried because she didn't have any poo to fling at it. Anyway next it was my turn and Mum did indeed smell nervous. I looked for the Sheltie but it wasn't there so I tried to make her relax by just being my usual self. Both Tazzie and me got an 'E'. Mum was very pleased with us.
Next time Mum was much more relaxed and I tried very hard but she said some very strange things to me as I was running - I don't know what she meant perhaps she'll teach these new commands to me when we go to the barn tonight so next time I'll know.
Then we had another round - and I must say that there was STILL NO CHICKEN at the end of the dog walk. Anyway I went as fast as I could - apart from that dog walk thing, I don't like it, I've fallen off 3 times and if there's no chicken why on earth should I go fast!!!! Mum was very pleased; as always - (it doesn't take much to please her you know)
We had a bit of waiting around to do then and then a man came up to the car and spoke to Mum and that's when she said the very rude word. From what I can gather, I think I was the fastest dog around the running and jumping, it seems to mean a lot to Mum and we got another one of those rosette and trophy things which she immediately stuck in my face and said 'look what you've done!' Then she gave me and Taz lots of chicken. I think I must have done something right, I wonder what it was!
Apparently I've gone up another grade - still don't know what this is but perhaps there's chicken at the end of the dog walk in this next grade! Yay Chicken. I love chicken.

Where's My Shrekkie Monster?

Dyl - Well we've been doing lots of 'proper' agility over the past few weekends. Mum keeps appearing back at the housey-thing-on-wheels with rosettes and trophies - I really don't know what they're for but it seems to please her when she gets one. She always sticks it in my face and says 'look what you've been and done again!' Aparantly I've gone up a grade now; whatever that is. I'm wondering if it means I get more chicken at the end of the dog walk - there seems to be a distinct lack of it in these competitions. I think someone should tell the person who stands in the middle and waves their arms about that there's no chicken at the bottom of the dog walk.
Anyway- the thing that's worrying me this week is what has happened to my Shrekkie Monster? I have a little toy -(that I have to share with Maggot) and Mum has pinched it! I took it outside and dropped it in our toilet area. I peed on it a few times, so Maggot didn't want it but he didn't seem to care. However, it made Mum want it. She took him away :-( and put him that funny machine that fills up with water and then spins. Why would Mum want him? She gave him to me in the first place and then took him away - hmmmm I might have to start guarding things if she does that a lot.

Oh I have just seen him on the washing line, Mum has pegged him out by his ear - poor Shrek, I bet that hurts nearly as much as when I bite him. Mum saw me looking at him and said that she has washed him as he was very smelly and that it will be much nicer for me now. Nicer? what does she mean nicer, I thought he smelt lovely and now I will have to chuck him around the garden, roll on him, dribble and pee on him again until he smells just right!

Getting fed up with this now......

Taz - He did again. He is her golden boy again!!!!! That stupid dog only went and won the agility on Friday. Mum came back with a trophy, a red rosette and a huge bag of food. She also came back to the housey-thing-on-wheels with Pauline!!!! Yay Pauline came to visit us whilst we were on holiday!!!! She is my friend and I love her, Oh my mind is wandering; back to the blasted Squiddy thing. As I was saying; he won the agility which aparantly moves us up a grade, what ever that is. He also won the jumping. That's fine I thought to myself, I just go in those rings and have fun with my Mum. That was until Sunday and whilst we were waiting for our go at the running and jumping I heard Mum talking to another person. 'What a shame that Dylan had had a pole down' they said and they wished us good luck for our run. 'Oh we won't do anything' said Mum. 'This is Taz, and he won't weave and he knocks poles down for a pass time'
To be quite honest I was a little put out by this and thought I'll show her ...............so I weaved...............and I kept the poles up.................and I won the class by over a second!!!!! I am a good boy!!!! See Squid, I can do it but Mum mustn't get me over excited by squealing at me when I'm running. She was very quiet on this run, much better. I hope she does this more often and I will keep trying very hard for her. She came back to the housey-thing-on-wheels with a red rosette and trophy for me - I'd rather have had a bone. She gave me a big cuddle and cried! I thought I had made her happy but it would appear not, perhaps I won't do it again if it's going to make her cry.
But guess what.......Squiddy just can't let me have all the glory and he went and got another trophy and a blue rosette for coming 2nd in the agility. I might just have to knobble him.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!!!!!!!

Dyl: OMG, OMG, OMG!!!!! I heard her. I heard her on the phone booking an appointment for me to go and see the vet. I don't want to see the vet! Why can't she take Taz instead, he's always moaning that he doesn't get to go anywhere - well he can go there! I don't like the vet, he pokes me around, and sticks things in very inapproriate places. I even emptied my anal glands on him last time but that still didn't stop him. I shan't go! I shall place my bum firmly on the floor and refuse to go in. She'll have to drag me in and I shall watch very carefully for any chance of escape. If anyone leaves the door open, I shall be gone and back in the car in an instant - you won't see me for dust. If she thinks I'm fast at agility - she aint seen nothing yet I can tell you. I'll show her what fast is!!!!
OMG why is she taking me to the vet - I'm fine, look Mum I'm running around all happy and well and playing with my toys - I obviously don't need to see the vet.....................please?


Well it's a few hours since I wrote the above and we have been to the vets!!! I was really happy to be in the car, Mum usually takes me to nice places and I thought we were going to the canal. When I got out the car..........OMG it was the dreadful vets, I immediately tried to get back in the car but Mum was too quick and had shut the door. I tried to run in the opposite direction but ....bugger!! she had already got my lead on and there was no escape. I made her drag me in, and once inside I kept trying to get out the window. Then a man came in and I was so frightened that I wet myself, but Mum still didn't take any notice of me; and then it was our turn :-(

The vet wanted me on the table and after he had had a chat with Mum (who was going on about snakes re-aligning their mouths - I ask you what is this woman on?) he started opening my mouth and looking around. He touched my sore bit and I just wanted to run away. He said that there was some blood around my tooth ( well whoopy doo I could have told him that) and it seems that I have cut my gum and possibly got a slight infection in there. Mum said something about yoghurt pots. The vet then gave me some treats....hmmmmm treats, I love treats.
And result, my puppy dog eyes, weeing and squirming must have worked, because he didn't stick a pointy thing in me. He gave Mum some tablets for me, I've got to have 1 twice a day, I wonder what they taste like, can't wait to have my first one......Maggot can't have any they're all mine!
Then Mum started talking about worms. Worms. Worms, for goodness sake I don't have worms, I am a highly tuned athlete, athletes don't have worms. However it would appear that apparantly I do, because Mum wanted some more sweeties that the worms can eat. I don't want worms......if you don't give them sweeties Mum, they'll go away. If you start giving them treats they'll want to stay. She really does have a lot to learn about training.

The Eyes Have It!

Taz - It's Tuesday again today and it's the day that Squid gets to go and see Aunty Sally. He's always full of it when he comes home, but I usually manage to find something in the kitchen that I can take to my bed until Mum gets home. Last week it was one of her socks that I took from the washing machine, it was nice and smelly to snuggle up to. The week before that I found a wooley hat on the worktop. I've had a good look around today and can't find anything except a big old towel that is conveniently in the machine waiting to be washed. Oh well that'll have to do, I'll heave it out and take it to my bed. It's very heavy you know, I have to work very hard! When Mum gets home, I'll jump about with excitement (that always makes her feel special) and then I'll give her my 'you left me home alone - you went and had fun with him and you've done nothing with me' eyes. Poor little me! That always works; she's bound to feel guilty and then she'll take me out for walk - just me and my Mum. Squiddy will have to stay home alone, but he hasn't got the sense to look in the washing machine to see if there's anything to cuddle. He is a stupid dog!

It Won't Be Long Now!!!

Dyl - Mum keeps saying it won't be long now before the proper agility season starts. I don't know what she thinks we have been doing all these months but I thought it was proper agility! I go over lots of jumps, through tunnels, over dog walks, A Frames, Seesaws and weaves so it seems like proper agility to me - (I told you she is a very strange woman). But perhaps she means the season only starts properly when we have that housey-thing-on-wheels that she attaches to the back of the car. We pull it for miles, and then when we finally arrive we have the weird ceremony that everyone seems to do of banging in poles, and putting fences up and always the warming up of the kettle!!! I do like it though when we take the housey-thing-on-wheels with us, it means I get to do lots of running and jumping and spend a lot of time with my Mum AND I get to sleep in the housey-thing-on-wheels with Mum, although she won't let me sleep on the bed with her, she says there's not enough room but how much does she want? I've got plenty! Also there's usually lots of my friends around as well and their Mum/Dad has a housey-thing-on-wheels, or a housey-thing-made from cloth! (Don't fancy that one) Anyway their Mums & Dads have done the banging in of poles, fence stuff and of course the warming of the kettle!! I like the PROPER agility season and it won't be long now!

New beginnings...............

Taz - 3 of my friends from club are coming to 'Training In The Ring' today. This is the first time they have ever done anything like this so I know their Mums will be nervous. But that's the problem........why don't Mum's act the same when we run somewhere different? Why do they scream and shout and wave their arms about in all directions? I know my Mum certainly acts different when she takes me to one of those showey things; she tells me to do things I've never heard of. I make a guess at what she means and hope I get it right but it would be a great help if Mum could be just the same as she is each week in training. Anyway back to my friends, Keelee, Izzy and Jess. I will be there to help them. I will sniff their bums as I always do and just be me (unlike our Mums). I hope they enjoy themselves and that their Mum's don't put too much pressure on them - it is meant to be fun after all!
I shall have fun, I always do when my Mum takes me out, and no matter what happens Mum is always pleased with me (although sometimes more than others). I shall run fast, make some attempt to clear the jumps and possibly stop on the contacts - if the fancy takes me -I shall play with my toy, have some chicken and have lots and lots of cuddles.-(that Morag lady will be there and she lurves me). My hair will be flying and as for my ears........well they will be a sight to behold. I have the most magnificent ears - I know; because my Mum told me so - 'ears to die for' she says. xx

PS: We are home now and that blasted Squiddy did it again. He won the agility and was in the side that won the fun team event at the end, however I was in the team that came second. Go me!!! xxxxxx